CILT’s Parenting with a Disability Bulletin Volume 11, Issue 1 Fall 2008 PDN Update As some of you may already be aware, Kimberly McKennitt, Program Coordinator for the Parenting With a Disability Network, has been on a medical leave of absence for the past few months. As a result, regular PDN events and bulletins have been suspended until further notice. Certain joint events are expected to continue but you will be kept posted. In her place, Nancy Barry has been doing her best to tend to incoming calls and inquiries regarding PDN concerns. At this point in time, we are not certain as to the date of Kimberly’s return. However, please be assured that the PDN will continue to support you in any way that we can. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact Nancy at (416) 599- 2458, extension 227, by TTY at (416) 599-5077, or by email to peervolunteer@cilt.ca. WE’RE MOVING! Closed December 4th to the 8th! Open for business December 9th, 2008. Our new address will be: 365 Bloor Street East Suite 902Toronto, Ontario M4W 3L4 Phone numbers and email addresses will not change. It’s Cold & Flu Season: Important Notice from Health Canada Cold and flu season in Canada runs from November until April. Health Canada would like to remind Canadians of the important safety precautions they should keep in mind to protect themselves and their families. The Flu Influenza (or the flu) is a common respiratory illness that affects millions of Canadians each year. The flu can cause a range of problems from a few sick days, to hospitalization and even death. The seasonal flu vaccine is the most effective method of preventing influenza that Canadians have access to every year, in time for the flu season. Certain groups should not be vaccinated. These include children under six months of age and people who have had an allergic reaction to eggs or to a previous dose of the flu vaccine. Regular hand washing is another way to help minimize your risk. By washing your hands often, you will reduce your chance of becoming infected after touching contaminated surfaces. If you get the flu, you should increase the amount of fluids you drink (water, juice, soups) and get plenty of rest for seven to ten days. You may also wish to speak to your health care provider about medications to treat the flu. If you take them within 48 hours of the start of your symptoms, they may reduce the length of your illness by an average of one or two days. Common Cold A cold is a minor infection of the upper respiratory tract that can be caused by several different viruses. Typically, these viruses are relatively harmless. Colds are caused by viruses different from those that cause the flu, and colds tend to be less severe than the flu. Cold symptoms usually appear one to three days after the virus enters your body and lasts for about a week, although some may last longer. There is no way to completely prevent the occurrence of colds. However, avoiding close contact with those who have colds can reduce the chances of becoming infected. As with the flu virus, regular hand washing is also a good way to help minimize the risk. Over the counter medications for cough and cold There are more than 700 authorized non-prescription cough and cold products marketed in Canada. Health Canada is currently working to determine if the labeling of these products is sufficient to ensure that Canadians have all the information needed to make an informed decision on the safe use of these products. Health Canada has issued a number of recommendations on the use of these products in children. We strongly advise Canadians to follow these recommendations including consulting a health care practitioner to determine if the product is safe and appropriate. It is also recommended that cough and cold products, including drugs and natural health products, should not be used in children under 2 years of age unless instructed to do so by a health care practitioner. For children of all ages, when combining more than one product, Canadians should be aware that many products contain the same medicinal ingredient(s) and combined use could lead to overdose. Canadians should talk to their healthcare practitioner or pharmacist if they have questions about the proper use of these products, dosing and administration information, or the medicinal ingredients in the products being used. Topical medications There are also many topical products available on the Canadian market that are commonly used to treat cough and cold symptoms. Topical products are applied to a localized area of the body or to the surface of a body part. For example, products containing camphor and/or eucalyptus oils (also referred to as aromatic oils) are commonly used as chest rubs and by steam inhalation to relieve congestion. These oils are also found in some creams and ointments intended to relieve sore muscles. Products containing these oils should be used according to the label directions to avoid accidental ingestion or absorption of excessive doses through the skin. All medications and health products should be kept out of reach of children, in order to avoid accidental poisoning. To report a suspected adverse reaction to any drug or health product, please contact the Canada Vigilance Program of Health Canada by one of the following methods: Telephone: 1-866-234-2345 Facsimile: 1-866-678-6789; Canada Vigilance Program Marketed Health Products Directorate E-mail: CanadaVigilance@hc-sc.gc.ca Ottawa, Ontario, AL 0701C K1A 0K9 E-mail: CanadaVigilance@hc-sc.gc.ca Media Enquiries: Alastair Sinclair Health Canada (613) 957-1803 Public Inquiries: (613) 957-2991 1-866 225-0709 Don’t Forget to Get the Flu Shot! Free influenza vaccinations are available from October 27th to December 2008, and from January 5th to January 8th, 2009. See the enclosed insert for a schedule of free flu shot clinics across the city. All locations are wheelchair accessible and parking is available. For more information call toll free 1-877-844- 1944. Protect your family and loved ones from getting the flu this season! UPCOMING EVENTS International Day of Persons with Disabilities - 3 December 2008 Theme: "Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities: Dignity and justice for all of us". Dignity and justice for all of us is the theme of this year’s International Day for Persons with Disabilities, as well as for the 60th anniversary of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. 2008 is a significant year in the International Human Rights movement given the entry into force on 3 May of the Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities and its Optional Protocol, legally binding instruments which set out the legal obligations of States to promote and protect the rights of persons with disabilities, as well as the 60th anniversary of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR). Article 25 of the UDHR provides that each person has “the right to security in the event of unemployment, sickness, disability, widowhood, old age, or other lack of livelihood in circumstances beyond his/her control". On this International Day of Persons with Disabilities, as well during the year-long celebration of the 60th anniversary of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, let us use “dignity and justice for all of us” as a rallying call, as these principles are far from being realized for everyone. Dignity and justice are embodied in the civil, cultural, economic, political, and social rights promoted by the Convention. Therefore, the International Day of Persons with Disabilities is a time to make a renewed commitment to the ratification and full implementation of the Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities and its Optional Protocol. This International Day for Persons with Disabilities is a time to make a renewed commitment to these principles of dignity and justice and to ensure implementation of the Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities. All human beings are not only entitled to rights, but also have the responsibility of making universal human rights a reality for all of us. The annual observance of the International Day of Persons with Disabilities, 3 December, aims to promote an understanding of disability issues and mobilize support for the dignity, rights and well-being of persons with disabilities. It also seeks to increase awareness of gains to be derived from the integration of persons with disabilities in every aspect of political, social, economic and cultural life. The theme of the day is based on the goal of full and equal enjoyment of human rights and participation in society by persons with disabilities, established by the World Programme of Action concerning Disabled Persons, adopted by General Assembly in 1982. The official title of the Day was changed from International Day of Disabled Persons to International Day of Persons with Disabilities by General Assembly resolution 62/127 on 18 December 2007. PARENTS CORNER Find Your Style of Parenting There are many ideas about how to rear children. Some parents adopt the ideas their own parents used. Others get advice from friends. Some read books about parenting. Others take classes offered in the community. No one has all the answers. However, psychologists and other social scientists now know what parenting practices are most effective and are more likely to lead to positive outcomes for children. Ideas about child rearing can be grouped into three styles. These are different ways of deciding who is responsible for what in a family. Authoritarian Authoritarian parents always try to be in control and exert their control on the children. These parents set strict rules to try to keep order, and they usually do this without much expression of warmth and affection. They attempt to set strict standards of conduct and are usually very critical of children for not meeting those standards. They tell children what to do, they try to make them obey and they usually do not provide children with choices or options. Authoritarian parents don't explain why they want their children to do things. If a child questions a rule or command, the parent might answer, "Because I said so." Parents tend to focus on bad behavior, rather than positive behavior, and children are scolded or punished, often harshly, for not following the rules. Children with authoritarian parents usually do not learn to think for themselves and understand why the parent is requiring certain behaviors. Permissive Permissive parents give up most control to their children. Parents make few, if any, rules, and the rules that they make are usually not consistently enforced. They don't want to be tied down to routines. They want their children to feel free. They do not set clear boundaries or expectations for their children's behavior and tend to accept in a warm and loving way, however the child behaves. Permissive parents give children as many choices as possible, even when the child is not capable of making good choices. They tend to accept a child's behavior, good or bad, and make no comment about whether it is beneficial or not. They may feel unable to change misbehavior, or they choose not to get involved. Democratic OR Authoritative Democratic parents help children learn to be responsible for themselves and to think about the consequences of their behavior. Parents do this by providing clear, reasonable expectations for their children and explanations for why they expect their children to behave in a particular manner. They monitor their children's behavior to make sure that they follow through on rules and expectations. They do this in a warm and loving manner. They often, "try to catch their children being good" reinforcing the good behavior, rather than focusing on the bad. For example, a child who leaves her toys on a staircase may be told not to do this because, "Someone could trip on them and get hurt and the toy might be damaged." As children mature, parents involve children in making rules and doing chores: "Who will mop the kitchen floor, and who will carry out the trash?" Parents who have a democratic style give choices based on a child's ability. For a toddler, the choice may be "red shirt or striped shirt?" For an older child, the choice might be "apple, orange or banana?" Parents guide children's behavior by teaching, not punishing. "You threw your truck at Mindy. That hurt her. We're putting your truck away until you can play with it safely." Which Is Your Style? Maybe you are somewhere in between. Think about what you want your children to learn. Research on children's development shows that the most positive outcomes for children occur when parents use democratic styles. Children with permissive parents tend to be aggressive and act out, while children with authoritarian parents tend to be compliant and submissive and have low self- esteem. No parenting style will work unless you build a loving bond with your child. © www.About.com/pediatrics/parentingstyles PARENTING STYLE QUIZ: What Kind of Parent Are You? Take this neat parenting quiz to see what kind of parent you are: 1. Your son hits another child at soccer practice. You would… A. get mad and tell the other boy to hit him back B. ignore them and just let them fight or play tell him that it is not right to hit people, make him apologize, and C. take away a privilege if this is a repeat offense. 2. Your son and his friends have made a big mess in your playroom and now want to go play outside. You would…. A. yell at them and make them clean up B. tell them to go out and clean the mess up yourself C. help them clean up by making a game out of who can pick up the most toys. 3. If your pre-teen daughter wants to rent an R rated movie that her friends have all watched, you would… A. get angry and tell her she can’t rent any movies B. let her watch it C. say no and help her find a more age appropriate movie 4. Your daughter is putting off going to bed because she says that she wants something to eat, and you… A. get mad and make her go to bed hungry B. let her eat whatever she wants C. let her have a nutritious snack, but tell her that she will have to start eating more at dinner so that she isn’t hungry at bedtime 5. When your kids don’t do their chores you… A. get mad, yell and make them do them right away B. do them yourself C. give them a helpful reminder that they need to be responsible and do their chores. 6. When your kids whine and have tantrums you… A. get mad and send them to their rooms B. give in to stop the whining C. don’t give in and afterwards explain better ways that they can express their frustrations 7. If your kids get in trouble, you… A. get mad and yell or spank them B. don’t do much of anything C. discipline them and later explain better choices they could have made so they don’t get in trouble again 8. Your son wants a new toy at the grocery store, so you… A. get mad and tell him he can’t have any new toys B. buy it so that he doesn’t have a tantrum C. tell him no, but explain that you will bring him back to buy it when he saves enough of his allowance 9. If your preschool age daughter has a nightmare and wakes you up, you would… A. get mad at her for waking you up and tell her to go back to bed B. let her go back to sleep wherever she wants C. comfort her and help her go back to sleep once she calms down 10. The main goal of parenting and discipline is to… A. get your kids to listen to you no matter what B. make sure everyone is happy and doing whatever they want C. teach your children why your rules are important and help them learn to make good choices on their own PARENTING STYLE QUIZ: Results Here are the results of your Parenting Style Quiz: If you have more 'A' answers, then you are likely an authoritarian parent. If you have more 'B' answers, then you are likely a permissive parent. If you have more 'C' answers, then you are likely an authoritative parent. If you have equal amounts of 'a', 'b' or 'c' answers, then you have a mixed style of parenting. An authoritarian parent 'attempts to control a child's behavior and attitudes, stressing the importance of obedience to authority and discouraging discussion. Parents who use this method tend to rely upon punishment, which is often spanking or other physical measures'. A permissive parent 'exercises minimal control. Children of permissive parents are allowed to set their own schedules and activities. Permissive parents generally do not demand the same levels of behavior give them a helpful reminder that they need to be responsible and do their chores. PARENTING GROUPS & WORKSHOPS From October 2008 and February 2009 the Anne Johnston Health Station wants to hear from mothers with disabilities about their perspectives on the following: * Your experience of the health care system * Pregnancy and disability * Parenting and disability For more information, call Lynda Roy at (416) 486-8666, extension 248 or email to lyndar@ajhs.ca. CILT UPDATE Introducing Carling Barry Please welcome Carling Barry as the Peer Support Program Assistant, formerly a CILT volunteer. She will be assisting the Peer Support Coordinator with special projects related to peer support, including the Cancer Care Manitoba Project. She will also be assisting with general inquiries related to the Parenting With a Disability Network while Kimberly McKennitt is on an extended medical leave of absence. Carling will be in the office two to three days a week, and can be reached by email at carling.barry@cilt.ca. You may also call her at (416) 599-2458, and leaving a message for her at extension 227.